exit interview
by clairebare
Summary: teresa gives notice.


"Sir, do you have a few minutes?"

"Agent Lisbon. Sit down."

I take a seat in front of Abbott's desk. He must know what this is about.

"I've decided to make the move to Washington D.C. and wanted to formally request a transfer. I've been offered a team leader job in Major Crimes there. They'd like me to start in a month but if it's OK with you, I'd like to leave in three weeks so I can get situated."

Abbott sits back in his seat with his clasped hands across his belly and his tight smile across his face.

I hate that smile. I remember it well from the day that I left the CBI building for the last time. From when Abbott appeared in my little office in Cannon River. It's his shell-listening smile.

He was instrumental in firing me without severance from the CBI. He considered me the most culpable of the team and made things as tough on me as he could.

Jane forced Abbott to give me a job. No way would he have even considered me.

Cho was Abbott's hire. The pick of the CBI litter. He even pursued Rigsby and Van Pelt. Not me.

And of course, Abbott spent two years acquiring Patrick Jane. Pearl of the Orient. Jewel in the Crown. Cherry on the Sundae.

Sometimes, I see Abbott gazing at Jane with something like love on his face. Like a man admiring his new Porsche.

Each time Jane blows the doors off a case, Abbott basks in the accolades.

It's gotten to the point where he'll do anything Jane wants. Play any role. Underwrite any scam.

He'll be Director of the whole FBI someday if he can just keep that golden-haired goose laying golden eggs.

For all Jane's insistence on my presence, I haven't really worked with him much. Kim immediately hitched her wagon to Jane's star getting credit for many more busts than me.

It was pretty clear from the start that there was no real need for a Jane Whisperer. Jane and I stopped getting close enough to whisper a few months ago and now mainly address each other in audible constipated sentences.

All I know is, he really, really, really, really wants me to be happy. Really, he does.

I love Marcus. Not the way I love Jane. But then, Jane doesn't love me the way he loves Angela.

I've come to realize that that's OK. Frankly, after years of desperate love for Jane, I find I like being the one who's sought after.

Being with Jane has been a continuation of the emotional deprivations of my childhood. Repetition compulsion, they call it. Attempting to right the wrongs of childhood by setting up the same interpersonal dynamics, but this time, believing you can somehow triumph over the circumstance that defeated you as a child.

So for the decade we worked together, it was as if I were trying to do everything perfectly in order to win my damaged, distracted father's love. And of course, my father had problems I couldn't fix no matter how understanding and mature I was. Just like Jane.

If you cook a stew and it tastes terrible and you cook it again and it tastes terrible, you have to start thinking about changing the recipe.

Marcus loves me more than I love him. He actively seeks my company and my approval. I need that. It's the only way my life can take another path. Otherwise, the pull of my past 40 years will be too strong. I will continue to be hyper responsible Teresa desperately trying to get wounded Patrick's limited love and attention. And never getting what she wants.

Time to change the recipe.

Marcus will give me a real life with a real family and, I expect, a deep understanding of classic films of the 40's, 50's, and 60's.

Jane will offer me the chance to be his blue blanky. He'll drag me along slung over his shoulder while he sucks his thumb.

Abbott interrupts my thoughts. "Agent Lisbon, ever since I first heard about your possible move, I've been keeping a close watch on Jane. I'm worried about him."

"He'll be fine, sir. I've talked to him about this and he wants me to do what makes me happy."

He leans forward. "Agent, what do you think would make Jane happy?"

Strange question.

"I'm sure Jane will be happy playing his mentalist games and getting away with…"

"Murder?" Abbott smiles with his teeth. "Yes, that does seem to make him happy but I'm concerned that your absence will disrupt his environment."

"What is he, a hothouse orchid?" I blurt this out and laugh.

Abbott knits his brow. "He's a rare and fragile creature."

I snort. But Abbott is very serious.

"His brain is the closest thing to a work of art I've ever seen. He's so particular about his suits and his shoes and his tea and his teacup and his sofa and his motor home. I think the empty space left by you could put him off his game."

"He's a big boy, he'll get over it."

"That's a chance I'm not willing to take."

What is he talking about?

"I appreciate that, sir. But my mind is made up. I've already told Jane I'd be leaving." I say softly.

"Agent. Let me be clear. Your leaving is a chance the FBI is not willing to take."

"I'm not following you, sir." I want to flee from his office.

"If you check your email, there's a message from the bureau in D.C. telling you the position is no longer available. They filled it from within."

I break into a sweat.

"I'll get another job in D.C."

"Perhaps. Perhaps you can find something for Cho as well."

"You wouldn't ruin Cho's career over this."

"You would be the one choosing to ruin his career, Agent Lisbon."

He leans back in his chair folding his hands behind his head.

"Patrick Jane is a valuable FBI asset. From the Bureau's research, the most successful detective in the world. You were the top of his list of demands. We won't risk doing anything that would result in his solve rate slowing down or diminishing. Lives are at stake. National security is at stake. This has been approved all the way up to the White House."

"Jane won't stand for anyone pressuring me."

"If you share this information with him, Cho will be dismissed. Rigsby and VanPelt will see their client base disappear overnight. Your niece, Annabeth won't get into any college."

I can't believe this. But Abbott's face tells me I should. He's loving this.

"When the times comes, you will find a reason to prevent you from leaving with Pike. Perhaps a case that you need to finish up with Jane. When you work together, let Jane know you won't go; that you changed your mind."

I've sweated through my blazer but somehow, I'm shivering.

"Furthermore, the Bureau would like you to be much more proactive in your role as Jane's partner. We feel it is incumbent upon you to make Jane as happy as possible. To create an environment in which he will thrive even outside the office."

"What does that mean?"

"Don't be coy, Agent Lisbon. You can't tell me it would be unpleasant for you to…deepen your relationship with Patrick Jane. Just close your eyes and think of America."

He cracks himself up.

"You can go now." He turns to his computer screen.

I shuffle out of his office into the bullpen.

Jane is asleep on his couch. Infinitely beautiful. A slight smile on his finely molded face.

I can never tell him what happened with Abbott.

I'm fated to remain Saint Teresa of the Immaculate Arrest Record. Jane's helpmeet, his handmaiden, his lover if I'm doing my job right. Maybe that's how I get promoted.

Not the worst fate in the world. Maybe it will work out.

He shifts a little on the couch. A rare and fragile creature. His brain is as close to a work of art as I've ever seen.

Bastard.

Is this a sting or a con?


End file.
